June 13 - A Very Special Day!

Where does the time go? No, really – where does it go? First of all, can you believe we are mid-way through June? I feel like we JUST put away our Christmas decorations. And this time last year I was already starting to think about Gates’ Halloween costume (ok, that might have been a little premature, but the costume was CUTE so you can’t argue a well thought out plan).

Anyway – What I really can’t believe it that TWO YEARS AGO today I was given the MOST incredible blessing I will ever know, Gates Patrick.

Growing up, birthdays were a big deal in my family and so I will carry that tradition on to ensure my children always feel special on their birthdays. Without fail (sister, correct me if I am wrong), my mother was always the first phone call I received on my birthday. And EVERY year she would replay the day I was born – and as crazy as it sounds, I don’t think it ever got old (Tracy, thank you for continuing this since my mother’s passing).  She would say “this time, 30 years ago, we were at the hospital, blah blah blah”. This is something I will do with my boys, for as long as they let me. However, with boys, I think they will think it is annoying and dorky pretty quickly. I also like to relive it with my husband, who contributes some to the conversation but generally just laughs and nods his head here and there when I say “remember?”. It’s fun.

So I will do it with you guys here, too.
This time two years ago – It was a Saturday morning and we were at the hospital, knowing Gates would come that day. The Friday before (June 12, 2009) I had a check up at the doc (at 36.5 weeks), Cam was with me, and the doc said “well, the baby is coming. You will check in to the hospital tonight and we will induce tomorrow.” Cam and I both were nervous, to say the least. We weren’t ready. We didn’t even have a mattress for his crib yet. The room was not organized, my bag was not packed, and we still didn’t know what to do with a baby. Seriously. But, I was having some minor complications and the doc said IT WAS TIME. He instructed that we have a nice dinner (our last without a baby around) and then head to the hospital. So we did just that. We went to Macaroni Grill, by the house, and they gave us our meal free because we chose their restaurant as our ‘last supper’, if you will.

Labor was easy (I know, I shouldn’t brag because I am about to have another baby and it won’t be the same) and I really don’t remember ever being in pain. There were a few moments I needed some serenity and thanks to my husband, family, and friends – I was able to be calmed and reassured all would be fine. After Gates entered the world (at 5lbs, 10 oz and 21 inches long), Cam and I both were at a loss. Really. We had not a clue what to do. Thank goodness for my sweet friend who is an excellent mommy to two beautiful kiddos, because she rarely left my side (except to do a monumental task I will touch on next) and she handled feedings and diaper changes (with the help of Cam’s aunts). We really enjoy looking back on that now – we were chuckling last night about how clueless we really were. Frightening, I tell you.

And all while we were trying to figure this out at the hospital, my sweet sister-in-law, my mother-in-law, and my friend (mentioned above) were at our house getting it put together for our homecoming. And, I tell you, this was no easy task. I will NEVER forget how touched I was when we got home (and I love that I am documenting it here, too). I felt like Oprah had done a makeover at our place. We were in a tiny townhouse, that was Cam’s cute bachelor pad for years before it became the home for our family, and needed to make use of every inch. Before the baby came, I couldn’t figure out how to do it – it was such an overwhelming task. But they tackled it. Gates’ room was ADORABLE. Everything was hung on the walls, his bed totally put together (they went out and got the mattress, etc.), all his clothes organized, diapers put away. and everything was done in the most logical way. His bath stuff was all organized – the living room was beautiful. They didn’t just focus on the baby – they went into storage and got out my personal belongings from my house (which we had just recently sold) and found places for it in our house to make it more homey for me, too. It was all just amazing. It took my breath away when we came home. I felt so loved and so special at that moment – it really was incredible.

Ah! What great memories. And here we are, two years later with this thriving 2-year old that made us a family. At dinner a couple of weeks ago, Cam looked at Gates and told him “you make me so happy” – and tears filled my eyes. Gates, you made me a mom. You are the absolute best part of my every day. You make me stronger than I ever thought I could be. You have taught me patience (!!!) and unconditional love. You have reminded me of my parents and the sacrifices they made. I love to try to see the world through your big, brown eyes. You are the best thing to ever happen to your daddy and me and we love you so very much! Happy 2nd birthday, Gates Patrick.



**and thank you to all my sweet friends who have already contacted me to wish Gates a happy birthday. Thank you for remembering what a special day this is for us.

Bad Mood Katy

Following up to my last post, this post is so fitting – I am in a bad mood. And what better place to complain about it than here? Not any one particular event caused the birth of this bad mood – but perhaps a variety of things, that when put all together, created Bad Mood Katy (BMK). I used to really know this version of myself because she was around a lot more often but I haven’t seen her in a while. “nice to see you again, BMK.”

What is it with the people I work with? I mean NO ONE SMILES around here (says BMK, who is also not smiling right now). Are people that unhappy? Busy? Arrogant? I really can’t put my finger on it, but it drives me crazy. And if I can get someone to hold the door for me (big ole pregnant me, hands full with food most of the time) it’s a freaking miracle. I feel like I really need to thank that person with a hug or something. It just never happens. And being on the elevator with these grumpy (unhappy, busy, arrogant) people is enough to just set me off. I mean, for the love of life, find something to SMILE about.

But BMK didn’t appear as I walked in the door (that I opened for myself) at work this morning, she was already with me from the moment I woke up (on the wrong side of the bed). Actually, she was with me when I went to sleep last night. She showed up yesterday afternoon as Gates and I were at the neighbors house for a play date. Gates clearly was in a bad mood as well (I blame this to a lack of nap at school) and so he was really struggling with sharing Wade’s toys with him. it is hotter than Houston in June (no, really – it is much hotter this June than past Junes so this is a perfect analogy) right now so my patience was very little. When I tried to explain the concept of sharing with Gates he just lost it. And I don’t mean the normal fit that involves crying and such. This was a “im going to show you how upset I am by throwing myself on the ground and hitting my head on the concrete”. How do you ignore a tantrum like that? You don’t. So I picked him up and carried him out the front door to head on home. Clearly that play date didn’t end like we would have liked it to. It was then, on the walk home, I felt BMK join us. The rest of the night wasn't terrible. Gates pulled himself together (which is easy when he isn’t having to share his toys with anyone) and I managed to get the house picked up and feed him a decent dinner without any meltdowns (by me or him). But by the time my sweet husband got home, I was out of commission. At that point I had this pounding headache that wouldn’t let up. I was sprawled out on the couch, on the heating pad, just waiting until an acceptable time to go to bed. I do bath time every night with Gates – it is our special time to play and sing – but last night, I needed Cam as back-up. I couldn’t do it alone. My singing voice (BMK’s singing voice) wasn’t very chipper. Once we said good night to our little nugget – I knew I was only minutes away from hitting the sack as well.

I said good night to Cam and at 7:45 pm, I retreated to the bedroom. Who does that?? I mean, seriously – aren’t most people just getting home from work at that time? Or starting to cook dinner? I was fast asleep by 8:30 and slept straight through the night (only with the normal 3 bathroom trips in the middle of the night). I woke this morning and the STUPID headache was still with me. What gives? How can a headache stick around for THAT long? I mean, go away already.

But once I sat down at my desk this morning, I felt BMK packing her bags and preparing for her departure. Nothing special happened for her to realize she had outworn her welcome. The headache is still lingering but BMK is not. I think this blog helps me with venting, so if anyone is still reading thank you. and also, when I log into the blog, I see the sweet pics of my family and am reminded of all my blessings (yes, there is that word again).

And I must say – although the bad mood stuck around for a full 12 hours, the strength of it was nothing like bad moods past. I really believe that cameron has made me a more sane person. I used to be totally nuts but now I am just kinda nuts – enough to keep things exciting.

Birthday Bash

Although it isn’t official until June 13 – we celebrated Gates’s 2nd birthday on Saturday with a small (yeah, right) party at the house, complete with bounce house, snow cone machine, hot dogs, cupcakes, presents, balloons, toys, family, friends, and so much fun.

Gates was an angel ALL. DAY. LONG. From when he woke up until bedtime, he never once threw a ‘terrible two’ fit. We have been talking about his birthday party for a couple of weeks leading up the event, trying to get him excited. And as the guests started arriving, I could tell he was in for a good time. His grandpa, sissy, aunt Lisa & Uncle Colby bought him his first tricycle (with all kinds of bells & whistles) and once it was assembled, you couldn’t pull him off of it. But the sweet boy did get off long enough to share it with some friends. I was proud.


Typically Gates is real cautious when it comes to those bounce house contraptions. We have been to many a party where I have to get in the bounce house with him and almost literally make him JUMP (this is a sight too. there was one party that had a bounce house obstacle course and I really got stuck in it. I thought I was going to have to send for help). But this go around – he was ALL about it. I have never seen him work up such a sweat and have so much fun with other kids. He was giggling nonstop.



What made the day most special for both me & Cameron was the amount of love surrounding our little boy that day. My sister drove in from Austin, we had aunts & uncles and friends that all came to celebrate Gates. And we are well aware that kids birthday parties are not top on the list of things people LOVE to do on their Saturday, but we still had a house full of people that wanted to celebrate Gates with us.

As I was driving to work today, I started chuckling thinking to myself that I MUST drive some people crazy with my constant positive attitude and extreme happiness and love for my family. Right? I mean, can someone please tell me to tone it down every once in a while? I even drive myself crazy when I spend time trying to find synonyms for the word blessed. But I always come back to blessed. Because to me, it is that simple.

But for those of you who just want to know that I have a bad day from time to time – it is true, I do. But even on those days, I try to remember that in the grand scheme of things – nothing is that bad to cause me to forget all the blessings in my life.

The Not-So-Terrible Twos

Happy Wednesday, Friend(s). It has been difficult getting back in the swing of things after such a wonderful holiday weekend.

I have so many directions I want this blog to go, so please bear with me.

I am going to start with Wednesday night, just because it was so much fun. I had one of my dearest friends over for dinner. Don’t let me fool you, i didn't cook (not that anyone that knows me was thinking i did); but she picked up a delicious dinner and that was perfect for us . We planned for her to get there in time to see Gates before we put him down for the night. This isn’t easy since he goes to bed earlier than most kids ever, but she made it in time and i really believe it meant as much to her as it did to me, to be able to say goodnight to him. She loves him. And as much as she loves him (and of course as much as I love him) it is so much easier to talk once he asleep - and we had lots to talk about. There was nothing that anyone else would see as extra special about the night but we just don't get to see each other near often enough so it always makes for a special visit. This sweet friend reminds me of what is most important in life; friendships, love, happiness. I cherish my time with her and always feel better about things after a good visit with her.

Thursday was nothing exciting except that every Tuesday & Thursday are special to me since I get to pick up Gates from school. That is my FAVORITE part of the day. Seeing his adorable expression when I walk into his classroom never gets old; and I can’t imagine that it ever will. It always amazes me how independent he is and how grown up he seems when he is surrounded by other kiddos in a classroom environment. Melts my heart. Every. Single. time.

We decided to head to the ranch for Memorial Day weekend even though we knew it would be hot and the chances of us spending all day inside were possible. Cam's parents were going and we had not seen much of them lately so we were excited at the thought of getting away and spending time with them. While we waited for daddy to finish up at the office on Friday, Gates and I got up and at 'em, preparing for the weekend. We made our bi-weekly Target run and then ran by the store for the few items Cam requested for the weekend. Then we made it home in time to pack, eat a little lunch, and take a nap. When Cam got home, we loaded up the car and hit the road. Now - for all moms out there, you know it isn't as easy as that (loading up the car and hitting the road) - i wish i could really put emphasis on the word LOADED. But, we have noticed that we don't need to pack near as much now that Gates is a little bit older. So although the car is still packed tight, we know we are carrying a lighter load than trips past.

We had not been to the ranch as a family since Thanksgiving (yikes - that's too long) and although i have wonderful memories from that trip with our family (Cam's parents and sister and hubby), it was still an exhausting trip because Gates was at such an in-between phase. He was walking but he wasn't as stable as he is now. He couldn't handle stairs very well, he didn't quite understand ‘no’ (or didn't listen), he didn't see the fun in some of the things we tried to introduce him to, etc. Oh, and the car ride for that trip - wow. let me just say that it was a good thing i wasn't pregnant then because as soon as we made it to the ranch i was in need of a stiff drink.


This trip was different from the start. Bittersweet really, because although I am SO grateful for the stage Gates is in now, it also reminds me how quickly kids grow up. Gates was 'talking' for most of the drive there. Some of it we could understand, most of it we could not. But he was so aware of everything that we passed on the road. It was sweet.

And as soon as we arrived - he was off. he wanted to check out everything. he was pointing at trees and tractors, cows, donkeys, ants (yes, my son is obsessed with ants), etc. He loved it. And as soon as Granddaddy got there, he went on a ride on the ranger. he never stopped smiling. He even got to drive and honk the horn. and on one of his many rides, he found a turtle shell (so cool for a little boy). He made rice crispy treats with Sissy (Cam's mom) and helped her shuck corn. He watched Bambi and read books and stayed up WAY past his bedtime. He got to play with water guns and real arrows (without the tip on them to avoid poking an eye out) while he watched granddaddy shoot his bow & arrow. it was as if this trip made me realize what a big boy i have. And how independent he is becoming.

This trip also allowed me to make a mental note while preparing for our newest member in November – two is the magic number. You hear all these horror stories about the terrible twos, but what you don’t hear enough about is the magic behind it all. When they start recognizing things, learning how to do things, and really engaging in things that you always thought were way out of their league. Don’t get me wrong, Gates still needs us in a lot of different ways (and thank God for that) but the difference between him now and six months ago left me in a whirlwind of memories on our drive home. (and let me not downplay the terrible twos, either. Sometimes I can’t even believe he came from my womb.)

After such special weekends, i get real cheesy, deep and emotional. But it doesn’t seem to bother anyone and I certainly don’t mind it. It keeps me thanking my lucky stars and saying to myself “My cup runneth over!”

Next up – Gates’s big birthday bash! Stay tuned!

Being a mommy

The joys of pregnancy - the second time around.

This pregnancy has been so different than my pregnancy with Gates. I hope it isn't a sign of things to come. When i look back on my first pregnancy, i don't remember much except time flying by. Granted, we were busy trying to get our lives settled (sell my house, plan a wedding, etc) but the time really did just zoom on by.

Fast forward to now - i feel like i have been pregnant for 19 years. i can't believe i am not even half way there, yet. And i promised myself (and others around me) that i would soak up every bit of this pregnancy; the good, the bad, the ugly. and i can tell you, it has been ugly. I cry at everything. i mean, really. We were sitting at a family dinner in a public place a couple of weeks ago and i turned to my husband and told him i was about to lose it (start crying) right then & there. for no reason. nonsense, i tell you.


And i have been sleeping like a bear in hibernation. I go to bed before most people are getting home from work.


food - i can't get enough. and it wouldn't be a bad thing if i was craving and eating good-for-you stuff. but instead it is everything the doctor tells you stay away from. fried gooey goodness stuff, donuts, ice cream, candy, fast food, etc. If it is remotely healthy, keep it as far away from me as possible. Within 4.5 hours of finding out i was pregnant, i had gained 5 pounds. this has to be all mental, right? I mean, how is that a positive pregnancy test all of a sudden makes you SO tired, sick, hungry, and fat. My poor husband.



What i do love about this pregnancy is knowing whats in store with the sweet baby in my belly. Gates made me a mommy. He taught me how to love like this and i know that this baby will be no different. i already feel so much emotion for this little avocado (week 16 - that's the size).



As i was going to sleep last night i was thinking of my mother - which is almost a nightly thing. I tend to think of funny sayings we shared or things she taught me. And sometimes, i get lost in the list of things i want to tell her. And at the very top of that list is - "i totally get it now, mom. " She would tell me often that i will never understand until i am a mom. but i would argue her on that, in a playful manner. It went something like this:


Mom: "I love you, Katy. To the moon and back"

Katy: "I love you more!"

Mom: " That's impossible."

Katy: "But mom, i have loved you all of my life and you have only loved me half of yours."

Mom: "Just wait until you are a mommy, you will then understand."

And with that, i would let her 'win' that fight but only to be nice. I really believed i loved her more. but now that i am a mommy, i see who the real winner is. Mom is always right.

Why I Should be Bethenny's BFF

It is unfortunate that i have become so obsessed with reality tv. i am aware of how mindless it all is - what a total waste of time it is. but i can not help being sucked in. It is my guiltiest of pleasures, especially when Cameron is out of town and Gates is asleep. i sit back, with remote in hand, and go through my DVR with excitement about how many hours of entertainment i have ahead of me.

In all of this reality tv watching, i have fallen in love with someone who i believe REALLY is just as she appears in her 'reality' show. and i also believe we have so much in common that she should be my BFF (no offense to all my BFFs, you would still remain BFFs but how fun would it be to include Bethenny in all of the BFF fun? Especially now that she is a millionaire). yes, i am talking about Bethenny Frankel from Bravo's hit show, Bethenny Ever After.

And we do have so much in common -
-we both got pregnant out of wedlock (this sentence was difficult to type but who are we kidding, it is a fact that can't be hidden).
- we both got married at 6 months pregnant (its a tie on who looked better on their wedding day ;))
- we both lost a parent shortly before (or during) our pregnancy
- we both come from crazy childhoods that we continue to try to sort out
- we both love to drink (i feel like this is a huge bonding opportunity)
and the list could go on & on (not really, i have run out of things but thats ok).

She is a total mess. And she cries in every episode - which makes me crazy. and her silly sessions with her therapist, are you kidding? That guy gets paid the big bucks for that? But i still love her. All 82 pounds of her.

Inspired...

So, i set up this account in January of 2009 - shortly after finding out i was pregnant with my sweet little nugget who is now turning two next month! I hate that i never wrote a single entry because by now i would have a full journal of my first pregnancy and the first two years of Gates's life. But oh well - never too late to start. So here I am - inspired by a friend
(http://texaswolfgang.blogspot.com/) who has started her blog to document her experiences while raising twin boys.

A little about me - even though i am certain that if anyone is reading this at all, it is the friend i mentioned above who already knows everything about me.
I am an overly compassionate, sensitive, and neurotic woman. Mother to my precious Gates - who has taught me everything in the world there is to know about loving so completely and deeply. I am also the wife to a wonderful man who taught me, from the very beginning, to live life to the fullest without fear or regret. I am blessed to be expecting again - another boy with whom is yet to be named. This little nugget, in my belly, will complete our little family of 4. Least i forget to mention, Baxter & Peanut, our two annoying as hell chihuahuas who once were the center of our attention and now just fit into the background somehow. I promise you, we do still love them.