Being a mommy

The joys of pregnancy - the second time around.

This pregnancy has been so different than my pregnancy with Gates. I hope it isn't a sign of things to come. When i look back on my first pregnancy, i don't remember much except time flying by. Granted, we were busy trying to get our lives settled (sell my house, plan a wedding, etc) but the time really did just zoom on by.

Fast forward to now - i feel like i have been pregnant for 19 years. i can't believe i am not even half way there, yet. And i promised myself (and others around me) that i would soak up every bit of this pregnancy; the good, the bad, the ugly. and i can tell you, it has been ugly. I cry at everything. i mean, really. We were sitting at a family dinner in a public place a couple of weeks ago and i turned to my husband and told him i was about to lose it (start crying) right then & there. for no reason. nonsense, i tell you.


And i have been sleeping like a bear in hibernation. I go to bed before most people are getting home from work.


food - i can't get enough. and it wouldn't be a bad thing if i was craving and eating good-for-you stuff. but instead it is everything the doctor tells you stay away from. fried gooey goodness stuff, donuts, ice cream, candy, fast food, etc. If it is remotely healthy, keep it as far away from me as possible. Within 4.5 hours of finding out i was pregnant, i had gained 5 pounds. this has to be all mental, right? I mean, how is that a positive pregnancy test all of a sudden makes you SO tired, sick, hungry, and fat. My poor husband.



What i do love about this pregnancy is knowing whats in store with the sweet baby in my belly. Gates made me a mommy. He taught me how to love like this and i know that this baby will be no different. i already feel so much emotion for this little avocado (week 16 - that's the size).



As i was going to sleep last night i was thinking of my mother - which is almost a nightly thing. I tend to think of funny sayings we shared or things she taught me. And sometimes, i get lost in the list of things i want to tell her. And at the very top of that list is - "i totally get it now, mom. " She would tell me often that i will never understand until i am a mom. but i would argue her on that, in a playful manner. It went something like this:


Mom: "I love you, Katy. To the moon and back"

Katy: "I love you more!"

Mom: " That's impossible."

Katy: "But mom, i have loved you all of my life and you have only loved me half of yours."

Mom: "Just wait until you are a mommy, you will then understand."

And with that, i would let her 'win' that fight but only to be nice. I really believed i loved her more. but now that i am a mommy, i see who the real winner is. Mom is always right.